Sight

No one was surprised, really, when it happened. This kid had been one of our most faithful participants in church so we'd noticed that his old pair of glasses had been repaired time and time again. So when I picked him up at camp, finding them in pieces in his hand was almost to be expected.

A couple of the camp staffers pulled me aside. They felt bad about his glasses situation and had taken up a collection from the other staff so we could restore his sight.

That really helped when I dropped him off at home. I was able to tell Mom that we were ready to replace what was left of his specs so she made the appointment and we all went to the optometrist together. He got his prescription updated and we found some amazingly durable yet sufficiently cool frames. We'd received enough in the collection from camp to cover all the costs.

I took him a couple days later to pick them up. He was so happy to be able to see clearly again and bounced up the steps back into his house when I dropped him off.

I didn't see him at church that weekend. That was unusual but not unheard of.

But then he wasn't there the next weekend, or the weekend after that, or the weekend after that. This was the new pattern. I'd bump into him on the streets once in a while but church was clearly something he wasn't interested in.

It was somewhere in that time when I let those six dangerous words creep into my head:

"After all I've done for you."

I don't know that I actually said them, but they were festering inside me. WE took him to camp. WE collected the money to get the new glasses. WE took him to the optometrist. WE paid the bill. WE gave him a ride.

Yet he wasn't hanging out with us any more.

After all we'd done for him.

And when I find those thoughts and feelings inside me know I'm ready for a time out. Because when those words are in me I know I can be saying a lot of unsightly things.

Those words say that I have ulterior motives in ministry.

Those words say my love is conditional.

Those words say that I'm not serving, I'm exchanging.

Those words say that doing the right thing is only necessary when payback in imminent.

Those words shift my actions from "Thy will be done" to "My will be done."

Those words say that the most important thing is what I get out of serving, not what those who I serve get out of what I do.

I don't like what those words say about me. I don't like the kind of god those word's actions in me reflect to the world.

Because Jesus had done more for me that I could ever recognize much less pay back. And I trust that since He loves me unconditionally that He's not up there brooding over the thought, "After all I've done for him."

So I when those words start creeping into my head it's time for a motivation check and an attitude adjustment. Why am I here? Why do I do what I do? What kind of invisible expectations have I placed on people? What must people do in order for me to love and serve them?

When I can get the right answers to those questions deep enough in my heart, my mind, body, and spirit, it starts showing in my attitude. It's then that I can really get back to serving others.

And months later once my vision had been corrected in this case, the kid didn't owe me anything and I was free to love and serve him again. Only then did he find his way back to the church.

Create in me a clean heart, Lord.

Call

It was love at first sight. A friend of mine was in town for a few days to get some ideas to use in her ministry. Then he walked in. Their eyes met. Instantly he knew. He was about 12 years old and it was as if he'd met his long lost grandmother.

He was at church more that weekend than any other time I can remember. He would come early and stay late just to be around her a little more. Between activities he would run down the block to his house to "put on something nice," something we'd never seen him do before.

And the feeling was mutual. This kid had instantly gotten into my friends heart. Between activities she would ask more details about his life. She gave him lots of special attention throughout the weekend. He was clearly her favorite.

After the final activity on Sunday evening she and I were debriefing her visit. Naturally, she asked some more questions about this boy. Somehow it came up that he had not been baptized.

A kind of panic came over her. She emphatically declared, "I've got to find him." She dashed out onto our dark street that dark September night and started yelling his name. Over and over again she called as it echoed off the row houses. She had to see him one more time.

After a few minutes he came out of his house. They had a long, quiet, private conversation on the sidewalk directly in front of the church then parted. Relieved, she came back into the church to continue with our conversation.

How strange and wonderful it must have been for him be in his house and to recognize his name being called out. How strange and wonderful it is when we hear the One who loves us calling our name.

Have you heard your name called out by the One who loves you? Over and over and over His voice echoes through all of creation calling us to step out from where we are and to come to Him.

He's been in love with us since the beginning of time. Though we have a long history of doing all we can to ignore the calling, to reject the love, to hide and keep our distance, to try to be unlovable, He still calls out to us day and night.

I shutter to think what would have happened had the boy not come back outside that night. To what lengths would my friend have been willing and able to go between that moment and her departure the next day in order to let him know how much he is loved? And none of us knew how much we would cling on Love's foundation in just a few days that night of September 9, 2001.

Listen. Your name is echoing down the streets. Your Creator calls you by your name. He wants you to know even more of His love. He wants to encourage, equip, and empower you to live in His love each moment. Step out your door and come to the sound of His voice.

Lord, let me hear Your love's call. Let me respond in love to that call and come out of my world to You.