Thwap

Thwap!

We all heard it and knew what it meant.

A couple people glanced around to see who would respond but she and I already had sufficient adrenaline in us. We had jumped up from our chairs and were now heading toward the thwap.

Prayer meeting would have to wait.

As we turned on the lights in the storage room we could see the rat in the trap.

"It's still alive!" she yelled as the rat and trap dragged themselves across the carpet. "Give me a pipe."

A little scared (of her, not the rat) I handed over an old piece of pipe that was by the door. She took it and immediately began bludgeoning the creature.

It tried to escape but it was no match to her passion. The blood-stained wall and the new markings on the carpet now warned future predators of her victory.

Two latex gloves and one plastic bag later, I disposed of the corpse while she reset the trap.

Prayer meeting resumed.

When I'm trying to exterminate things that make my life miserable, like my issues and ego and habits and insecurities (read: sin) I want someone like this woman on the journey with me.

I need people to pray with me. But once in a while when the time is right, I need them to also courageously march into the dark rooms inside me where I store my old stuff, turn on some light, and take a blunt object to the problem.

Though it's messy and uncomfortable, it's important.

Because I remember years ago the letter from my pastor that contained the direct correction I needed. And I remember the annoyingly persistent accountability from a fellow disciple during a time of rapid personal growth. And I remember the counselor finally saying, "Just get over it." Those things helped free me and helped me grow more than closing our eyes and praying harder would have.

Each of those people had a choice. They could have let fear of damaging our relationships get in the way of what needed to be done and glanced around hoping for someone else to do the job. But they knew that out of relationships based on solid faith, prayer, and mutual respect come opportunities to engage in passionate, scary, dangerous, painful conflict that can ultimately lead to a more whole self.

And though our relationship may get a little stained and bloodied at first, I have to trust that His grace will sustain us and open the possibility for even deeper friendship as a result.

It's then that we are truly free to resume our prayers before our Maker together.

Lord, help me hear, know, and respond well to Truth.

Not

When I first heard the call to step out on the streets in ministry God and I had a lot of conversations about it.

One of us was calm. The other one was me.

I remember one of the conversations quite distinctly. In it, I panic-strickenly listed all the things I was afraid of. I had come up with an exhaustive list that I found quite impressive.

It wasn't so much what He said in His typically brief reply but the way He said it.

Fear NOT.

It was the same reply given so many times in the scriptures. But this time it was different.

In my mind I've always translated that statement into "Do not be afraid." That may be accurate from the Hebrew and Greek, but getting me to dismiss my fears didn't seem to be His goal.

Wrapped up in those two words was a new translation which sounded more like this:

Fear NOT stepping out.
Fear NOT heeding the call.
Fear NOT going places that scare you.
Fear NOT doing this.

And it wasn't about eternal salvation or worldly punishment or somehow losing out on God's love; that is way outside the nature of God and would have just reflected even more of my personal insecurities.

Instead it was more a call to recognizing that the safe, clean, predictable, stable life I'd built was, in reality, a much scarier place than the full, deep, rich, abundant land that He's promised.

He never discounted my impressive list of fears. In fact, as the conversation wound down I felt like if had I not recognized the very real fears it would have been a bigger problem than my listing them for Him.

The earth-sized fears I could see were real. The heaven-sized Fear NOT provided a counterbalance.

And strangely, in that tension between fear and Fear NOT there is peace. It seems to me counterintuitive, but there it is ---- that peace that passes understanding.

Yes, in our conversations One was calm. By the end, the other was moving that way.

Grant us wisdom, grant us courage, lest we miss Thy kingdom's goal.

Memorable

A friend joined me in the little space by the bathrooms for prayer. I was getting ready to both preside and preach at the evening's worship session after having already presided and preached a different sermon at the morning service then taught and led the crafts at Kids' Church that afternoon. I was tired and needed all the prayer I could get.

And it was one of those prayer sessions when I KNEW that God was moving in response to my friend's prayer. "Oh Lord, we ask that this be a memorable service . . ." That was all I heard.

All I wanted was a smooth plain vanilla lots of smiles no real problems short prayers service where nothing too earth-shattering happened so I could go home, eat dinner, and get to bed.

But he prayed for a memorable service. I resisted the urge to scream, "TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK!" That would have been rude and useless because I knew God and would be answering soon.

And, yes, of all the services I've been a part of, this one was definitely rises to the top of the list of memorable.

During the opening song and only seconds after the "Amen" to my friend's prayer, I had to physically remove three teenage boys who began verbally harassing and physically threatening a senior citizen who was sitting in the back row.

Because of trouble on the steps in front of the church we had to lock the doors and post a bouncer to control who could come in during the rest of the service.

After a song about peace, one woman who had recently started attending services stood up, turned around, and loudly cussed out some kids who were sitting several rows behind her.

And as the service drew to a close, a woman raised her hand and said, "Tonight I've decided to get baptized. How soon can we do it?"

We set the date.

Yes, it was a memorable service. And it wasn't so much because of the utter bedlam inside and out. The fact that He moved in a life-transforming way in someone even in the midst of that chaos -- now THAT is memorable.

I spend a lot of time praying for all the craziness in my life to just stop. And when I've maxed out on it, all I can seem to pray is for God to let me go home, eat dinner, an go to bed. It's then that I also need to look around and see a raised hand trying to get my attention to let me know that God is doing something memorable in the very center of it.

Because people have been praying in churches and in temples and at home and on the streets and even by the bathroom doors asking God to do something memorable. And though the chaos seems bent on distracting us, God is bringing transformation to people right in the center of the madness.

And on those days that I can realize that I KNOW I walk in the midst of prayers that are being answered, it's the glimpses of those answers rather than the chaos that make the day memorable.

Father, help me see you working in the world around me. Let me witness of You and share in Your vision.