Trunk

The funeral did not go well.

From beginning to end, one thing after another went wrong in ways I could not have imagined. It wasn't the funeral home's fault. It wasn't the family's fault. It wasn't my fault. It just did not go well.

It wasn't just my opinion, either. While at the cemetery, the funeral director turned to me and in his most compassionate, professional, somber, funeral home voice said to me, "I'm thinking of climbing into the trunk of the limo until this is over. Would you care to join me?"

Yes, it was that bad.

And in that moment, being secluded from everyone and everything carried great appeal, even if it meant being in the limo's dark trunk.

The desire to hide in a dark place is quite familiar to me. It's not unusual to have seasons when multiple things go horribly wrong. It's no one's fault; they just happen. And there's no sense in trying to find the good in its midst at that moment. It is what it is, and my usual desire is to find a dark place to hide from the cascading trauma.

Back at the cemetery, the offer for some time in the trunk of a limo seemed like a great option. The funeral director and I both both decided, though, to stay out in the sunlight with the bereaved. The best help we could give was to be present amid the chaos.

It's in those times of wanting to crawl into a trunk that I need to remember that Jesus is Immanuel ---- God with Us. He chooses to be fully present in all our circumstances. If I follow Him I'll end up being present in all kinds of situations, too.

So I have a choice. I can be present in people's lives or I can hide, be it in the trunk of a car or in a dark place deep inside myself somewhere.

Though the dark places sometimes seem most appealing, being present in and with the Light is where I am called to be.

Lord, help me overcome fears and inadequacies that I may stand firmly in Your presence and be fully present in the lives of others.