Quit

"Get out of this church and NEVER come back!" I yelled at the kids as I shoved them out the door. I closed the blinds, set the alarm, locked the door, and marched home. As I came through the door to my house carrying several boxes of untouched pizza with me, my wife remarked that I was home earlier than usual. I replied, "I quit --- and I'm GLAD!"

Not my finest ministry moment.

The kids had come into the second session of Pizza Church loudly bossing me around and complaining about how much pizza they think they deserved. Between the first and second sessions the kids gathered outside were fighting, yelling, and causing a scene that made all the neighbors nervous and regretful that the church was on their block. The first session was full of kids who were snarky with me and each other.

And just before all this started the other person who was to be on staff that night canceled so I was the only grown-up in the room.

The kids were sure surprised the next week when they showed up and I didn't. I had already been scheduled to be out of town and those who were filling in had been advised of the previous week's events. They leveraged them for all it was worth.

It was then that the kids started to take the situation seriously. They started to figure out that I would be back when I was ready to come back, not when they demanded. They started to figure out that there are lines that cannot be intentionally and repeatedly crossed without consequences. They started to figure out that if we were to continue together it would be based on an appropriate and healthy relationship with me and with each other.

And when I got back in town I was back at the youth group again. Things didn't change instantly. I said that they started to figure out things. But there was just enough movement in the right direction to give us some space to work things out.

So I have to wonder how often Jesus is talking to me when I read from Matthew 17:17 in which He said, "How much longer must I be with you? Why do I have to put up with you?"

I sometimes get a bossy attitude with Him about the things I think I deserve. If I'm not careful my behavior and interactions can draw negative attention from those around me and have them questioning if they want Him around. My cynicism leads to snarkiness with Him and those who are trying to serve Him.

So once in a while I need a time out. It's then that I start to take things seriously again. I start to figure out that I don't have "God on Demand" but that I'm on His agenda. I start to figure out that there are negative consequences to my behaviors and attitudes if I repeatedly and intentionally go to those dark places. And I start to figure out that life in God's Kingdom is about living in an appropriate and healthy relationship with Him and with those around me.

I'm glad He doesn't kick me out telling me to never come back the way I did with the kids. And I'm glad that he's patient with me so I can be in "start to" mode over and over again.

By the way, in being true to character, all of those kids who I told to leave and never come back utterly refused to do what I said. Every last one of them kept coming back. They refused to give up. I think that might be an indicator as to who the grown-ups were in the room.

Thank you, Jesus, for your abundant grace. Help me grow in relationship with you and with those around me.